Gary Chapman, Ph.D.—author, speaker, and counselor—has a passion for people, and for helping them form lasting relationships. Chapman is a well-known marriage counselor and director of marriage seminars.
In his book The Five Love Languages, Gary talks about the five ways in which we each receive and give love.
Learning to recognise these preferences in ourselves and in our loved ones, we can begin to learn the root cause of conflicts and develop a stronger, more profound connection.
The Five Love Languages are broken down into the following:
Words of Affirmation
Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your Love Language™, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Physical Touch
This Love Language™ isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary Love Language™ is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. The Love Language™ of Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this Love Language™ their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
Receiving/ Giving Gifts
Don't mistake this Love Language™ for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this Love Language™, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.
Did you discover your love language?
Let us know below in the comments or if you're not quite sure, take the quiz on the official Love Language site here
Information source: 5lovelanguages.com